Pandemic Relationship

How are things in your relationship?

Pandemic or reality

There are so many articles out about how the pandemic is causing relationships to end. When I think about what's happening in households across the world I cannot help but to be a little saddened. Most times when a relationship comes to a conclusion point, I wonder what could have helped? When I think about the rise in breakups and divorces since the pandemic, I think about what could/should have been in place, prior to, could have avoided the split.

When coaching couples, I ask them for the three things of importance in their relationship. The reason I ask this is so that I have an idea of if they are on the same page for (re)building their foundation. The foundation of any relationship is typically being built within the first 7 years of coming together. What you and your partner pour into your foundational cement will determine how firm it stands as you build a life on it, as time passes (normal wear and tear) and as storms come about. If your combined mixture isn't properly balanced, as time goes on and storms hit, it'll begin to crack. Now.....a crack doesn't mean throw the whole thing away, it just means you both need to make a small batch and properly repair it.

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What is in your cement?

So what do I mean when I talk about your foundational cement? I'm talking about what you and your partner are building your relationship on; morals, principles, beliefs, wants, needs, desires, etc.. Having some commonalties helps to produce a strong, balanced foundational bond. Think about real cement, if you add too much water, it won't set properly, it be too pliable and extremely thin. If you don't add enough water, the cement will be too firm and rigid which leads to cracks forming easily and early on. When there is a proportionate/balanced amount of water added, the cement settles correctly, will be less likely to crack and firms to withhold whatever's going to be built upon it.

When you and your partner enter into a relationship, you each bring your three ingredients (items of importance), if all are completely different, you are more likely to have a thinned out foundation. If they are all the same, you may end up with a rigid, overly firm foundation. If you share one or two, you will be able to create a good balance! You must also understand that over time, you will need to make small batches to fill in any cracks that form; this may be the case every 10-15 years or so. There is no way that what was important to you when you were 21 is the same as when you are 45 and the same for your partner. Meaning, you must continue keeping the maintenance up on your relationship just as you would your house or car.

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WAP! Own that P***Y Power ladies!

Sooo.... Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B did a thing

CArdi and Meg LI

 

At midnight Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion released their single, "WAP". Now prior to it's release I'm sure there were many unsuspecting fans trying to figure out just what in the world was WAP, like what did that even mean. Well, if you listened to the unedited version then you learned that it stands for Wet Ass Pussy. Ooops, how many of you cringed reading that in your head just now? If that's you, I hope you cringed because of how powerful of a word you just read and not because of the stereotypical negative stigma placed on the word. I will admit, you will not catch me writing about hip hop artists on a regular basis; this was worth my time.

I can feel it (and I've read some of it) there are going to be a ton of bible pushing, holier than thou, we were delivered by the stork types of people ready to tear down this entire song, we'll just let them be and to each their own. By the way, yes I believe in GOD, don't want you thinking I'm some bible hating heathen or something. Now back to the point of this story. When I watched this video on YouTube today, I actually had a smile on my face. No it's not because I was looking at tons of ass, I'm happily married and enjoy looking at my husband's butt just fine. I was smiling because before the words started, I felt a certain power within the video. I mean there were two ladies with water shooting from their boobs out the gate, literally! Then it goes right into the scene of Meg and Cardi laying in a den of snakes; whew, gave me chills! Here are two boss ladies spitting hard ass lyrics among a variety of snakes! And did you hear that bass hit!? Psst, do yourself a favor and look up snakes before you add that to your judgement sheet.

Own your Sexuality, Demand your Pleasure and Control your Body!

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The vibes of this video gave me that of the fight that we as women have given for too many years that slowly swaying our way! That's simply the right to own our sexuality, control what happens with/to our bodies and to demand sexual pleasure our way! These two displayed a strength in womanhood that not a lot of us are strong enough to do anymore. Stereotypes and judgment has begun to cast the Chastity belt/Scarlet letter shadow back around. The lyrics commanded attention to what they desired for their personal pleasure. And before we jump back on the high horse, Cardi is a married mother, so what she commands of her marital penis is her entire business. Shoot, even if she wasn't, she better command that "big mac truck right in that little garage"! Ladies, you have to stop being afraid of expressing what you desire, want and need sexually because of what someone else may think. For hundreds of years we had absolutely no control over our own bodies, and this is still true, to date, in some countries.

Hell, it's not too long ago that some woman were not allowed (yes I said allowed) to purchase birth control! Now let that sink in. I want nothing more than for every woman to feel confident in her own ability to control her body, command pleasure and be firm in her sexuality desires. To understand how precious and valuable she is and to feel brave in telling others what she wants! Listen carefully to the words that these ladies are saying in this song. They are simply giving direction to their partner of how to best please them, letting them know how they will reciprocate and the typical outcome if all directions are followed as given. Last time I checked, giving directions and potential outcomes have always been an accepted practice on your 9-5 right? IJS.

At the end of the day, what you do behind your doors is for you. I just hope that it's exactly what you want, desire and need sexually and if not that you reach out so we can alter your process. Owning your sexuality is a major key to controlling just about everything in your life. It boosts your confidence, it places your mind in a forward mode and it gives you command of situations in a different way. If you are in a place where you are not in full control of or are hesitant to take control of your sexuality, I am the coach for you! Through coaching or the Own Your Ish Sis! bootcamp you will learn steps and methods that will set you on a path of sexuality success.

Now let me ask you sis, do you own your ish?

Did You Know?

Spontaneity....do you possess it or does it scare you? Doing the same thing every day, all day works well for some but at some point you have to do something different. Have you ever arrived to your destination (home or work) and thought, "How did I get here"? You have driven this route so much that you just seem to arrive and don't notice anything in between; you forgot to take in the scenery.

When this becomes your sex life, you might as well just pull the covers up over your head and STAY IN BED.....ALONE!! If you are satisfied with missionary three days per week on Monday, Thursday and Saturday (before 6pm only)then by all means, be the best at it. But can I intrigue you with something??? Maybe push the limit and have a little missionary sex at 6:30 pm on Saturday......baby steps of course.

When you make changes in your bedroom, you make changes in your relationships. You'll be surprised to know how your sexuality can play into other areas of your life. Take control of your sexuality and watch your confidence grow. Want to learn more about this and more? Sign up for your initial coaching session today and let's get you on your way!