Have you looked around at your surroundings and think, “What am I doing here”? Do you find yourself just coasting through life without feeling? How about the feeling of resentment when you have agreed to something that is actively playing out in your life? If you answered yes to either or both, you are STUCK!
We find ourselves stuck in situations when we have failed to properly get in tune with and love ourselves. It is so easy to jump into a relationship (personal, friendly, work, etc.), before we’ve “perfected” the relationship with ourselves. I think that we all should take a few moments to know, understand and recognize the difference in being alone and being lonely. One is a state of being and the other is an activity. Being alone does not translate into loneliness!
Growing up, most of us have been given the impression that you should be in a relationship. Now, we don’t always get a written manual on how this relationship should go, so we just jump in, an push on the gas. Now we’re in the relationship car, going 90 miles an hour with no direction or seat belt on. There are not many positive outcomes that can come of this scenario and this is exactly the same for someone getting into a relationship under the same circumstances. No, there is no actual Relationship Handbook inthe world, but there are examples and guides that an help us navigate.
1. Have a conversation with the other party. Your conversation should be one of factual details about yourself as to not make it about the other party. It is very important that you try to keep emotions stable during this conversation as that will usually end in a meaningless argument and nothing is accomplished. The goal of this conversation is to make your partner aware so that you both can work towards a successful resolution.
2. Confirm what it is that you need internally to be valuable to yourself before getting into or continuing your current relationship. This involves digging deep inside to find your potential triggers and situations that have caused you to “shut down”.
3. Ask for assistance in your journey. Ask your partner if they are willing to work with you through your journey. If they are not, don’t panic or get upset. Your partner may not be equipped to make changes as they could be experiencing a similar dilemma. Remember, Coach Kay is here to assist you in this process.
This is certainly not an all inclusive list but a good start. The most important thing to remember is that you are making the first step by identifying. Having a coach is a proactive approach to successful relationship building!